THE Marathon is in my radar!

It is official and it has been decided.....I will sign up to run the San Diego Rock 'N Roll Marathon on June 5, 2011. The original goal was to run a Marathon (26 miles!) before I turned 40 and come June 5, I will be realizing that dream.

I will continue to train with the running club to ensure that I have enough miles under my belt to actually successfully complete the race. They start back up, hot and heavy, come January. So, until then, I will run on my own, on my treadmill, several times a week.

With each run, I am a step closer to June 5. This has been a goal in the making for about two years. As I look back, I am surprised at the progress I have made, especially considering that throughout my entire life I was never ever able to run any length or distance. I used to joke that I couldn't even run to the bathroom! It came as a large surprise to me that I was ever able to run without stopping. I owe my inspiration and thanks to my brother Doran and his partner, Imin. They were supportive and encouraging, offering me guidance and helpful tips!

I am hoping that one or both of them will be able to run the marathon with me, keep your fingers crossed for me! My brother, Doran, ran the 1/2 Marathon with me in 2010. It was great to have someone by my side at the starting line!

Day # Since the Beginning? IDK

So I think I am tracking my day numbers in the wrong way. I started out on day one counting up and I think I should have a count down to when I turn 40.  The ultimate goal is to run a marathon and several half marathons before I turn 40. So, going forward, I will count down to 40 years old and I will also advise how many days until the next race. I think that makes more sense.

Currently, I am scheduled to run a Half Marathon on June 6, 2010. I will be participating in the San Diego Rock N Roll Half Marathon. This is the first year that the half is offered and I am glad that it is. I am currently running in a schedule where every week I have to up my distance by one mile until I reach the infamous 13 miles.

I noticed a bit ago that I was using the Nike Plus system to track my distances and there was a slight variation from the distance logged by my treadmill. This was relatively insignificant when I was running a few miles. On Saturday my treadmill logged 6 miles and Nike Plus logged 7 miles.  My goal for the day was 6 miles so as long as both said at least 6 miles, I was confident I ran at least 6 miles. If I ran more, no harm no foul. I just really didn't want to cheat myself.

It took me forever to log the 6 miles on the treadmill. I wasn't sure I was ever going to get there. It actually got a little bit boring just running and running and running in my garage by myself.  To assist in the future, I went ahead and got some new music for my ipod that should help entertain me.

I felt like I was starving for the rest of the weekend. Ha I still wonder if it is merely psychosymatic or not. Come Sunday morning, I went for about a 1.5 mile walk to loosen up my legs and lower back. It was much needed and helped with some of the dull soreness.

Despite the challenges to the running schedule, it is truly something I enjoy. I continue to be amazed at this concept. I - LOVE - RUNNING

........I am such a nerd  : )

Day # I'm still not sure

Cooking vegan at home is great. I think I modify or 'invent' a new recipe a week. It is a constant trial and error process which I love as I am constantly learning what works best together in terms of flavors and consistency. I made banana chocolate chip muffins that my non-vegan friends LOVED. Can I admit that I neglected to write down the recipe? Oops. I gave up chocolate for Lent so when I made them, I couldn’t taste them to see if they were any good. I wont post recipes on my blog without first confirming that the food actually tasted good. (Speaking from experience, I have found and tried recipes only to find out that the measurements are off etc)

I am learning about myself through running. It is an amazing process. I have determined that time is precious. It is a major challenge to consistently find time for myself with the demands of my every day life. If I do have the time to spare, sometimes I just don’t have the energy. Each day brings new paths to navigate and hills to climb.

It is imperative for me to realize in order to conquer this mountain, I must be even better at traveling the road of my every day life. There are only a few precious things that can be considered more important to me than this goal….and they go to bed at 8:30. After the magic bedtime hour, it appears that the dishes will have to wait, as will the laundry and dusting and the balance of daily tasks that weigh heavily on my mind.

June 6 is rapidly approaching and I have only managed one run that was 5 miles.  I have to run 13 miles. I am beginning to wonder if I will do it.

Day IDK: LOL

It has been too long since I wrote. I feel guilty for it. Unfortunately, my long list of things to do every day has prevented me from spending time on my own self satisfaction derived from blogging and sharing with the world my progress and trials.

I have not been running as much as I need to. It has been two to three times per week versus the much need solid four  to five times. Although there is some guilt associated with not following the running clubs plan to the letter, it is still so much more than I was ever exercising last fall that I wont allow myself to feel badly about it.

I ran last night. It was a rocky 65 minutes in which I ran 4.85 miles. I did the walk /run with a 5 minute warm up and then a cool down. There was a period of the run that I couldn't get my breathing under control. That is one of the hardest things I think to work through during a run. Afterwards, I felt like a million bucks.

Today, I have chafing under my right arm and on the inside of my thighs (awful, just awful). AND I feel like I pulled a muscle in my stomach. Please tell me how that is even possible? I realize my core strength is lacking but really?

Despite the after effects of the run, I am immensely glad I did it and look forward to a shorter run tonight.

I have not been as diligent to ensure I run each night that I am supposed to run according to the schedule. I have been tired and slightly overwhelmed with work stresses, potential lay off situation, resume writing, school work and general single mother stresses (and can I say LAUNDRY? - WHERE does it all come from????). It has seemed at the end of the day, instead of being excited to gear up in my running clothes, I have been more inclined to try and go to bed early.

Last night I decided to put on my running clothes before I tucked Justin into bed and that really seemed to help.

I look forward to my first half marathon in June. I am still on track.

I looked up the America's Finest City Half Marathon on August 15th in San Diego. I went ahead and signed up.

My original challenge to myself was to complete FOUR Half Marathons and ONE Marathon before I turned 40.  I have 18 months left to complete this challenge.

I have one Half Marathon scheduled for June and one Half Marathon scheduled for August. After August, I will have two more Half Marathons and the one Marathon to complete in a little over a year. I feel like I might be cutting it close.

Day 41

Wednesday February 17, 2010


I ran on the treadmill in the garage again. Okay, it is officially getting boring staring at the garage door.  I am just not the hugest fan ever about running on the street in the dark at the hours I have to run at.  I STARTED my run at 9:20 PM. I have tried and tried to get running earlier but my obligations to my kids, life, work somehow manage to continually take priority.


Inevitably, I still am nothing short of thrilled that I am still running and haven't allowed my duty to my life enslave me again. I am so free when I run. My life and worries and stresses crowd my mind and weigh on my motivation. The real revelation through running is that although it is added to my list of things to do today, and when glancing at the list creates additional stress, it is truly one thing that when I do it, I do it for myself and it sprouts wings to my motivation and clears out space in my mind. It is feng shui for my soul.

Day 31

Sunday February 7, 2010

My run schedule is way off from the running club. I am actually way, way off and am wondering if I can get back on track. Hmmmm. No choice really. I am thinking I better figure it out....and fast.

Wanting and doing something for myself can be challenging, okay, it is challenging. My weekends are filled with kids, housework, homework, bills, groceries. . . blah blah blah. It is an uphill battle to find the time and energy to fit in the runs. This weekend was exceptionally difficult as my daughter needed me to be mentally and physically present and available to her. She has a dear friend that very recently moved to New York. Her friend was shot several times on Saturday and is on life support. She cried and cried and cried. I just kept checking in on her and holding her, like when she was little.

When my daughter finally went to sleep Sunday night, I went to the garage for my run. Unfortunately, I was exhausted. I only managed to squeak out about 2 miles before I stopped. At this point, its not the five miles I had hoped for but something is definitely better than nothing.

At this rate, I am questioning the ability to meet my goal. 

Day 23

Thursday January 28, 2010

Oh man I did NOT want to run today. When I finally got home from work, picking up and dropping off kids, the cheer parent meeting and the PSAT Results meeting I must openly say that I was not feeling it. Not even a tiny bit.  I threw myself onto my bed like a child and proceeded to pout by myself for a few minutes.

I had seen the moon earlier when I was driving and it was so big in the sky and close looking. At least the moon will be pretty and I can look at it when I run. Alas, I picked myself up and assembled myself. Drank a bit of water and out the front door I went.

What was I thinking??? I headed inadvertently down the path with all the big hills. Auugghhh. But I kept going. The moon was high and bright in the sky and the air was chilly on my legs. It took me longer than usual to get into a rhythm. That being said, the first 15 - 20 minutes was a struggle. I think I have just not yet conquered the hills yet. Apparently we have not made friends yet. We will, eventually, we will.

I ran 3.32 miles with a pace of 12'35". Even now, as I am running, I think 'wow, I am running! Very cool!' Although I was being a lagger because I was tired, I found the strength to challenge myself and do it any way. For today, it is a triumph!

Day 21

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Today was an independent timed run. I was supposed to run for 40 minutes and I did it.  I am on day 21. Three weeks.  Had you asked me three weeks ago if I could run for 40 minutes I am pretty sure I would have said no. So not only did I run 40 minutes but I ran 3.42 miles.  I am surprised. Honestly, very surprised. I will keep following the plan, look to my mentors for guidance as required, and just keep on doing it.

I am feeling pretty good overall.  I am still concerned about my running shoes. I really feel like I should make sure I am wearing the correct kind but I refuse to go to the store until I have the money to pay for new ones should they be recommended or required.  I don't want to plant any seed of doubt in my mind. I hope to get in there within the next three weeks to check it out.

Other than that my knees are starting to hurt a little and the mornings seem to come waaaaaay too soon. I have decided though that I really need to alternate my run days with some core workouts. (just keep stacking it onto my plate)

I run again on Thursday. I look forward to it! Wish me luck.....

Day 18

Saturday January 23, 2010

Today I am supposed to participate with the running club. We are supposed to run four miles. I am very disappointed in myself. I can't go. I am in school working towards a PhD in Business Administration. I have so much homework this weekend I cant see straight.

I actually don't even know if I can get all the work done. I'm kind of stressed. I'm kind of freaking out. I have to complete 11 assignments in less than 48 hours.

Even though running is a goal of mine this year, getting a PhD is a part of my long term strategic life goal and objective.

I guess I will just have to run a little bit extra next week.

Day 13

Saturday January 16, 2010

Running Club today. I am nervous excited to go. We have to be there at 7:45.  Aauuggghhh. It feels so early for a Saturday morning. I set my alarm for 7:00 am.  Its not that far away nor do I have a ton to do before I go.

I show up a few minutes early, there is already a pretty large crowd forming. I still know not a soul. I must admit, I am slightly intimidated but I don’t care. I want to run. I want to do this. So I pass through little groups of people that already know each other, I can hear them talking about their week, their Friday night, their kids. . . .it will be nice when I know people too.  The running coaches start dividing up the groups. Our pace leader is not there. My group and I stand there waiting for our pace leader. The other faster pace groups start leaving. We are still standing there without our coach.  I wondered if I should just join another pace group for today? No, I waited.

Eventually our pace leader arrives and we head out. I stuck to my interval run plan, at least initially.  I ended up behind two other girls that were interval running, so I decided to mirror their walk / runs. These girls were surprising fast on their run portion. It was time to run and they would dust me, over and over. So when they would walk, I would keep running so I could catch up to them.  No sooner than I would catch up to them, they would take off again.  It was almost comical for me, I just wasn’t quite good enough. I struggled during the run, I was pretty tired and hungry. Additional, I was experiencing wardrobe malfunction. Lets be honest here, my sweatpants are a bit big these days and apparently all of the extra too big material decided to congregate in my crotch during the run. So I had this big ball of material wadded up in my front. Like I don’t already look like enough of a novice, right? I keep trying to shake it out or pull it down. . . .keep right on congregating. My sweatpants had a party in my crotch.  After that I decided that I was going to roadrunner sports and taking the time to invest in running clothes before next Saturday!

We ran 3.5 miles and my pace was slightly slower than usual.  I felt good. It feels good to run. I am learning to find a rhythm in my breathing. It is so rewarding to run, just the feeling of doing it. My life stresses and responsibilities have never allowed me time to do things for myself, much less time to be and feel free. When I run, the weight of my life is lifted and I can appreciate the time alone inside my head, the sun on my face, the beautiful view of the palm trees and clouds. Thus far, it is a great outlet for my stress and I am getting in better shape.

Once again, thank you so much to my brother and brother in law (Doran and Imin) for their support and encouragement. I would not have been inspired to try this without you both.

Day 10

January 13, 2010

Running:
Since I was a total slacker yesterday on my scheduled run, I ran today to make up for it. It was a scheduled run for 30 minutes. The night weather was cool and crisp as I started out with the stars and moon shining brightly.  I love it when the sky is bright and clear when I run. It perpetuates the solitary feeling of individual freedom associated with wide open spaces and the freeing feeling that occurs while I actually run.

I covered 2.3 miles in the 30 minutes. I chose a course that was abundant in hills. At several points in the run I felt like I could run forever. This feeling was actually new to me. Perhaps it is something I experienced as a child but I don't really recall it.  In turn, there were several points in the run (namely the hardest point in running up a hill) when I wondered to myself, what am I doing? Can I make it? Alas, I did make it up the hill each and every time. No point to continue to question myself about those particular hills then, they have been conquered!

Cooking:
No cooking today. We had leftover sauteed veggies and steamed rice. I added some garbanzo beans to the mixture. . . .have I mentioned I am starving all the time these days? One of my dear friends suggested I eat a hamburger. The answer was no, not currently an option. But I do need to focus on getting some more grains and protein in me so I dont need to eat every two hours!

Day 8

January 11, 2010

Running:
Today is a scheduled run per Running Club. My pace group was assigned a 30 minute run, of which I completed. I paced myself as I normally do with a four minute warm up and then interval running / walking.  And after I ran for the designated time frame, I did a short cool down.

Todays run was a challenge for me. There are several potential reasons for todays difficulties.

1. Last night I could not sleep to save my life. At best I may have slept for four hours? Regardless, I was wiped before I even started the run.
2. I am all of a sudden STARVING all the time. What the heck? I cant seem to funnel enough food down my throat throughout the day. I am feeling like I did when I first became vegan and had to seriously eat every couple of hours.  Today there was no way I could run after work without eating something.  I went ahead and ate two small tangerines followed by a small portion of plain brown rice.  I haven't tried to run with food in my tummy before and I am pretty sure I will avoid that again going forward.  (Could I really feel it sloshing around? Or was it just in my head??)
3. I tried a new area to run tonight and it was hills, hills and hills! Hills are fantastic when I am running down them! I actually could feel the burn in my calf muscles as I ran.

Tonight's run was rough. I stuck with it and even went a little longer than recommended. I actually hope to work my way into the next better pace group soon. I covered 2.66 miles with a pace of 12:06 min/mile. Maybe I should just worry about the 5 mile run that will be upon me before I know it. . ..

Cooking:
Tonight was moms not cooking dinner. We warmed grillers vegan patties and hash browns. We will have something to report in the food department tomorrow. Although we didn't prepare our own meal, I still feel like the kids ate relatively healthy. It was still vegan and tasted good!

Day 7

January 10, 2010

Running:
Scheduled day off! I am a little sore today and tired but still thrilled with yesterday and look forward to tomorrows run.

Cooking:
Betty Crocker's French Breakfast Puffs - Vegan French Breakfast Puffs

Here is the link to Betty Crockers recipe. This recipe was an all time favorite in my house growing up. The muffins are sweet and a total treat.
http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes.aspx/french-breakfast-puffs/8ad41733-6664-428f-b0c7-0033c1e1bee6

We made them this morning for breakfast, vegan style. They were beyond fantastic and although I felt the tiniest bit guilty eating them, I know the vegan version is actually soooo much better than the regular. So I threw caution to the wind and ate THREE!

Vegan French Breakfast Puffs
1/3 c vegan butter
1/2 c brown sugar
Egg replacer for 1 egg
1 1/4 c whole wheat flour
1/4 c flax meal
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 soy milk
Cinnamon and white sugar mixture
Melted vegan butter

1. Heat over to 350 degrees. Grease 12 muffin cups
2. Mix butter, brown sugar and egg replacer in bowl. Stir in dry ingredients, add milk. Spoon into muffin tin.
3. Bake 20- 25 minutes or until golden brown.
4. Roll hot muffins into melted vegan butter and then into cinnamon and sugar mixture. Serve warm

ENJOY!

Day 6

January 9, 2010

Running:
This morning was running club.  I woke up a little early and couldn't go back to sleep. I was too nervous. I laid in bed and thought about why I am doing this. It's Saturday morning and here I am at 6:15 am fitful in bed when I should be soundly sleeping. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? I have to smile at myself. Why do any of us do anything? I guess I have something to prove to myself about fitness.

The real truth about being fit is to learn how to enjoy it and be fit and healthy for myself. I can blame my ex-husband because he would guilt me into excercise and eventually I resented him and exercise.  But even that being said, I must take responsibility for my own health, fitness and happiness.  I have to prove to myself that I can set goals and achieve them, for myself. People around us can do and say things that impact us negatively. But, as in  my situation, I can ponder and it and suffer for it OR I can choose to change my perspective. I am changing. Running club is change.

After embracing the WHY, I got up and got ready. I wore regular sweatpants and t-shirt, put on my running shoes that are still new looking and packed up my ipod. (love that thing while I exercise) I drove to the location and was right on time. The running club I joined is the West Coast Road Runners. There were a TON of people, all in their running clothes that breathe and look all professional. Needless to say I felt totally out of place. My outfot alone screamed AMATEUR. It was also one of those things where everyone seemed to know everyone. But I sucked it up and went to check in. We listened to Dan (the guy in charge) talk about the program and then it was time for the time trials.

I timed my mile last week so I had an idea of the pace group I would be assigned to. We set out on a course that was 3 miles. I ran the course in just over 42 minutes. I checked nike plus and it logged the course at just over 3.5 miles. Hmmmm. Honestly I am a little bit bummed just because the course was actually longer than they said and my time for 3.5 miles puts me in the bottom group. I thought I would be in the second to bottom group. The second to bottom group should have run the course in 39 minutes and I took 42. My time was spot on to what I thought it should be per mile but since the cousre was .5 miles longer that they said, I look like an even worse runner. I guess it allows me greater potential for improvement!

I stuck to my running plan. I started out with a brisk warm up walk, about 3 minutes. The balance of the run I ran for 4 minutes and then walked for one minute. The course was on the streets, through an industrial park here in San Diego. The sun was bright and warm and the streets were empty except for our group. It was a long run for me and I had to talk myself into sticking with the run plan. I didnt give up. I ran the plan all the way to the end. Despite my non-running clothes and my placement in the slowest group, I am thrilled. It is an achievement for me to have pursued the interest, signed up, showed up and stuck with it. I look foward to next Saturday and running with the group again. I have the run schedule for this week and plan on following the rules to the letter.

Cooking:
Upon my arrival home, my babies were hungry and so was I! We whipped up some cinnamon blueberry pancakes. They were fantastic and will definately make them again!

I started with the Betty Crocker pancake recipe and modified it to be vegan.  Here is the Betty Crocker recipe from my Betty Crocker cookbook.  I have Betty Crockers 40th Anniversary Edition Cookbook.

Betty Crockers Pancakes:

1 egg

1 c all purpose flour

3/4 c milk

1 Tbsp sugar

2 Tbsp oil

3 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

Margain, butter or shortening

Beat egg with ahnd mixer in medium bowl until fluffy. Beat in remaining ingredients except margarine just until smooth. Heat griddle or skillet over medium heat or 375 degrees.

For each pancake, pour a scant 1/4 c batter onto hot griddle. Cook pancakes until puffed and dry around edges. Turn and cook other sides until golden brown.

Here is the modified recipe to a vegan version:

Vegan Cinnamon - Blueberry Pancakes

Egg Replacer for 1 egg

1 c whole wheat flour

1/2 c soy milk

1/4 c soy creamer

1 Tbsp brown sugar

2 Tbsp vegetable oil

3 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp sea salt

1 tsp cinnamon

Blueberries

Mix all ingrediants except the blueberries just until smooth. Heat griddle to 350 degrees. Pour 1/4 c batter onto griddle and hand place blueberries into pancakes (approx 5 - 7 per pancake).  Cook pancakes until puffy and dry around the edges. Turn and cook other side.

Our recipe made 10 pancakes. The house smelled fantastic and the pancakes were YUMMY

Enjoy!

Day 5

January 8, 2010

Alas its Friday. Thankfully. It has been a long and eventful week.

I will not be cooking today. We can scavenger for dinner. I am too tired and cant think about cooking and dishes etc.  I am very nervous for tomorrow morning because running club starts.  EEEeeeeeee  I have obviously never joined a running club before and I am fearful that I will show up there and there will be all kinds of super fit people. Will I be the one holding them back? How does it work? I am also not doing it with a friend so I will show up there and not know a single soul. I am intimidated.

I walked while Justin was in karate class. It was good. I walked 1.60 miles.  Sometimes it just feels so good to move. I sit all day long at work and just sitting there makes me so tired.

I wear nike plus shoes and have the ipod nano that interfaces with it. I am surprised and excited to discover that my nike plus account interfaces with twitter and facebook. So I linked them up and each of my runs / walks auto-posts on twitter and facebook. I think I love nike plus!

Day One: 1.88 miles and Cranberry-Orange Bread

Today began with a walk. I intended on walking 20 minutes or more. I set out on a path that took me to walk just seconds shy of 30 minutes. In that 30 minutes I covered 1.88 miles. I was slightly disappointed with the total distance because I honestly felt like I was walking at a good pace. Since I live just outside of San Diego, the sun is shining and the temperature is roughly 58. (not too bad for December 27!) Regardless of the slight disappointment with the overall distance covered, I am happy that I went and feel good about having spent some quality time working on myself. I had my ipod geared up and enjoyed listening to music and taking in the natural beauty of the mountains that are the backdrop to my neighborhood. As I walked I honestly felt overwhelmingly fortunate.

Upon my arrival home I decided I would tackle the healthy vegan cooking. I found a recipe on VegWeb.com for Cranberry-Orange Bread. Here is the link tho their recipe and I will advise how I modified the recipe. http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=7407.0

This recipe calls for 2 cups of all purpose flour and I instead used 1 3/4 c of whole wheat flour as I try to minimize the use of processed white flour. I also added 1/4 c of flax meal, spinkled on the top of the bread, after it cooked for 15 minutes or so. I like the health benefits (satifying the omega needs of our bodies or so I've read) and the nutty flavor it adds to recipes. The recipe calls for salt and I use only sea salt. I did not use any nuts either and used fresh cranberries. I found that the recipe make too much batter for just one bread tin so I went ahead and whipped up another batch and now have three loaves cooking in the oven. The house smells sweet and the kids are very interested in trying another one of mommys creations. Sometimes they turn out great and sometimes not so much. 

The Cranberry-Orange bread I would make again, with a few additional modifications to the recipe I think. The flax meal must be added to the batter or right away on top prior to cooking. Adding it 15 minutes into cooking didnt secure it to the top of the bread and I lost a lot of it when I took the breads out of their pans. I also think I would either soak the fresh cranberries in agave or cook them slightly in agave prior to adding to the batter. The fresh cranberries are big in the bread and when eating them are tart. I like them like this but I dont think the large tart cranberries will appeal to the masses. The wheat flour is great. The bread is moist on the inside and the crust is crisp and firm.

I am curious as well about using white sugar. I will do some additional research to find out if vegans use white sugar and what are the vegan concerns with white sugar. I read something about it previously but dont recall. This recipe called for 1 cup of sugar and I used regular white sugar. The orange flavor is very sutle, I could up the amount of orange zest as well.  We have enough Cranberry-Orange bread to last for weeks!

Modified Cranberry-Orange Bread Recipe

2 c whole wheat flour

1 c sugar

1/2 tsp sea salt

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

2 T vegetable oil

hot water

1/2 c orange juice

1 T orange peel, grated

Egg Replacer for 1 egg

1 c dried cranberries  (if using fresh cranberries, try soaking in agave nectar overnight)

Directions:

Preheat over to 375 F

Grease loaf pan

Premix dry ingrediants in one bowl

In a measuring cup, add oil and top-up with hot water to make 3/4 c

In a medium bowl, mix oil/water mixture, orange juice, orange peel and egg replacer.

Add dry mixture to liquid mixture. Be careful to not overmix.

Add berries.

Bake for 1 hour.

A Deciding Moment

I have come to realize that I will be turning 40. Despite the best face creams and hair coloring, I am aging. I was shocked and moderately dismayed to find a grey hair. I am only 38. Apparently I thought I was exempt from the aging process.

I work full time, am in school working towards a PhD in Business Administration, have two amazing children and am single. My life plate is full. Yet I have found that aside from the fulfillment I receive from being the best mother I can be, my life seems lacking in a true deeper meaning.

Now that I have confessed my partially empty heart, it is my goal to fill my life and heart, and hopefully yours as well, with purpose and satisfaction of sharing, growth and self realization.

I am vegan and have been since September 2009. I must openly admit that I am not a devout vegan. I do occasionally succumb to sacrificing my ideals for the sake of time or social obligations. I have struggled to find the ability to cook and live vegan with minimal time and limited cooking know how.

I will be sharing with you my journey to my 40th birthday (October 18, 2011) and in this time I have two main goals. One is to learn to cook healthy and vegan. I will share my modified recipes and all that I learn in this process. My mother primarily cooked using Betty Crocker's Cookbook and I will cook vegan using my mother and Betty Crocker as the inspiration. The second goal is to run. I want to run. Before I turn 40 I want to run (4) 1/2 Marathons and 1 full marathon. I don't run. I have never been a runner. I have tried to run and have do so only for short periods of time with a tiny degree of success. I used to joke with my brother (of whom is a runner and who I adore) that I can not run, except to the bathroom. (Making this personal journey all the more seemingly unrealistic!)

Ahhhhh, I said it. It scares me to admit openly my goals. But I said it. Its out there and I wont take it back. I am fearful that I wont succeed but I want to challenge myself. I have less than two years before I turn 40.